My son is having his first "sleep over" since he has become a man child. I hear two men like voices coming from his "playroom" as they play the XBox, with a "kill this" and "die that" echo down the hall. I find myself wondering if I should enter, to offer soda or snacks or just let them be???
Also, apparently, when boys (high school freshman and beyond) have sleep overs, it's not cool to sleep in the same room. So, one will sleep on the bottom bunk and the other will sleep on the hide-a-bed in the playroom. (I was instructed to make sure there were clean sheets on both)
My heart aches, because I know in just a few short years.... the excitement of having a friend over will die. Enjoy the moment as they come people. It all happens so quickly....
Mar 31, 2012
...Gag...
The term, dirty socks take on a whole new meaning when you have a teenage boy in the house.... eww
...........................................................................
NOT a poem worthy sentiment, but at least I'm getting some housework done.
Happy Saturday to you!
Mar 30, 2012
Writer's block culprit?
My slink is in a kink...
(my fidget "toy" I use to keep the words flowing)
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
(my fidget "toy" I use to keep the words flowing)
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Mar 29, 2012
It feels like an affair (PS, if you're a word virgin, don't watch the video)
Why are we so afraid of words???? And who decided that some words are ok and some words are not ok??? I have been having a mad, passionate affair with the English language since I was in high school. There's not a word that I won't embrace, and I really, really detest that some people have decided that I have to become a fucking verbal celibate. They're just words, it's ok. They come in peace, all of them, as long as you do....
And another PS... writer's block has set in. I can't write a poem to save my life... oddly enough, it would. I need to write about you, this and you and that, and you too. so many and so much are making me feel.... and I can't write it out. AAAAAUUUUGGGHHHH.
Just sayin'
EMPLOYER
em: To make into
ploy: A cunning plan or action designed to turn a situation to one's own advantage
er :more than on(c)e
EMPLOYEE
em: To make into
ploy: A cunning plan or action designed to turn a situation to one's own advantage
ee: to whom or to which an action is done
HA! Don't tell me I didn't get screwed.
em: To make into
ploy: A cunning plan or action designed to turn a situation to one's own advantage
er :more than on(c)e
EMPLOYEE
em: To make into
ploy: A cunning plan or action designed to turn a situation to one's own advantage
ee: to whom or to which an action is done
HA! Don't tell me I didn't get screwed.
Mar 27, 2012
Bawdy
Life slaps the shit, right in our hands
and hides the map to the closest sink.
With age, as it pans out
brings a sense of direction that don't stink!
Bring it!
and hides the map to the closest sink.
With age, as it pans out
brings a sense of direction that don't stink!
Bring it!
A Love Note
Like air to brown sugar, my eyes have dried with the dream of your lips luring me into your embrace. But just in case, I should awaken too soon, I'll lay this here for you so you will know, when we meet under the next full moon, it won't be by chance that we do our dance of eternal love....
until then my love
until then my love
Mar 25, 2012
my wings are coming in!
A shift is happening. I feel like I'm on the edge of something wonderful... Hell, I'm ALMOST to the point of where I see my employers screwing me over as a blessing. But, If it weren't for the worry of how I'm going to support myself, I think I'd feel ecstatically wonderful about where my life is going. I don't know that I've felt that..... ever. Fashionably late... yea, that's what I'll call it! I'm fashionably late to my life...
Mar 24, 2012
Mar 21, 2012
double standard
It's kinda interesting. In our society, a slutty woman is wonderful.... if she gifts it to you.
point not taken
People have been on my mind a lot lately. Sometimes, particular people but most times just people in general. I've been observing more than usual, almost obsessively.
I've been quite fascinated by how angry everyone seems to be lately. Meanwhile, I can't seem to get angry to save my life. I'm too busy making excuses to get angry I s'pose.
"They wouldn't treat me that way if they didn't have so much going on." Or I'll think, "It'll get better. It can't be this way forever." I don't stop and think, that maybe they're just jerks... and NO, nothing is going to get better unless I do something about it. But, I guess anger has its place.
Anger when channeled for good can move mountains. Most of the people I come in contact with are angry because of something someone else did or didn't do. Very rarely do I see anyone use anger to lift someone up, or make something better. Instead, it grows and festers into vindictiveness and spite and hate... all the things that destroy.
Look what happened with the guy Jason Russell who started the Kony 2012 movement. He took his anger and turned it into a movement to lift and help and serve. The public jumped right on. The movement had teeth and something we could all get behind. Then, just as quickly the public turned on Mr. Russell and turned that anger into something horrible. It's not because people are horrible, but human nature is horribly flawed. We don't even seem to notice or care. Life has become a blood sport. Once you start bleeding, WATCH OUT cause you're gonna get clobbered!
We all seem to be so busy stuffing our wallets and filling our houses with stuff, and amusing ourselves with pettiness, that we're not paying much attention to what we're stuffing in our minds and filling our souls with. How about we get angry about that?
I think I can do that. Yea, that's doable! Beginnings have to start somewhere.... DAMN IT!
I've been quite fascinated by how angry everyone seems to be lately. Meanwhile, I can't seem to get angry to save my life. I'm too busy making excuses to get angry I s'pose.
"They wouldn't treat me that way if they didn't have so much going on." Or I'll think, "It'll get better. It can't be this way forever." I don't stop and think, that maybe they're just jerks... and NO, nothing is going to get better unless I do something about it. But, I guess anger has its place.
Anger when channeled for good can move mountains. Most of the people I come in contact with are angry because of something someone else did or didn't do. Very rarely do I see anyone use anger to lift someone up, or make something better. Instead, it grows and festers into vindictiveness and spite and hate... all the things that destroy.
Look what happened with the guy Jason Russell who started the Kony 2012 movement. He took his anger and turned it into a movement to lift and help and serve. The public jumped right on. The movement had teeth and something we could all get behind. Then, just as quickly the public turned on Mr. Russell and turned that anger into something horrible. It's not because people are horrible, but human nature is horribly flawed. We don't even seem to notice or care. Life has become a blood sport. Once you start bleeding, WATCH OUT cause you're gonna get clobbered!
We all seem to be so busy stuffing our wallets and filling our houses with stuff, and amusing ourselves with pettiness, that we're not paying much attention to what we're stuffing in our minds and filling our souls with. How about we get angry about that?
I think I can do that. Yea, that's doable! Beginnings have to start somewhere.... DAMN IT!
Mar 20, 2012
a lifetime of nonsense, finally said outload
(And yea, you might write me off as being certifiable now.... whatever. To say this out loud to the vast universe will unload so much crap off of my soul. So, I'm gonna say it no matter the consequences)
So, I made one last plea to save my job. The MAIN reason for termination is now gone, but still..... there's no mercy for the loyalty and commitment I gave. (They Couldn't even give me an answer to my face... HA!) -- My 20 years of service wielded some savings, but not nearly enough to accomplish what I want to accomplish. I've always avoided "my calling" because it seemed too impossible of an accomplishment. And I thought for sure I was wrong, it just can't be. But as time has gone by, my skills have only improved.
I think I was born with a gift of sight that others don't have. I can see beyond my own wants and needs and desires to see the big picture. I can see how to resolve conflicts. I can hear what others can't. Call me crazy, call me egocentric. But what I say is true. The people in my life become quite annoyed with me because of the things I can see and hear. They accuse me of "acting like I know everything." That's not the issue at all. I DO NOT know everything, but I absorb so much information, I can see a problem or conflict coming a mile before it gets here. As long as I keep my cool of course.... after all, I am only human. I used to think everyone was like this, but I don't think that's true anymore. So, I have learned (or have been trained) to shut up. I keep my visions to myself now. If I see something coming, I just don't mention it. If see a solution, I just keep it to myself.
Maybe this was given to me from the horrendous abuse I suffered? Maybe that was a gift after all? FUCK!!! That really sucks! I can't imagine the hell I went through was for this sight. If I could trade it, I would. Am I here to teach peace? To teach others how to listen? How to see? I just don't know, but it has nagged, and tortured me my entire life. Was this incident that happened a gift so I would get off my ass, stop living the easy life and do what I should be doing? Ok, so if it was..... what the hell am I supposed to do to fulfill it???? What now? People don't really take me seriously with this because I'm just the lowly bus driver with no education. What kind of education do I need to spread the message of peace so people will listen? It can't be religion based, because peace goes beyond all religions, all race's, all gender's, all creeds, all sexual orientations.... beyond all of us.
What do I do with this nagging pain that has never loosened its grip on me since I was a teenager? To the universe, I ask.....
So, I made one last plea to save my job. The MAIN reason for termination is now gone, but still..... there's no mercy for the loyalty and commitment I gave. (They Couldn't even give me an answer to my face... HA!) -- My 20 years of service wielded some savings, but not nearly enough to accomplish what I want to accomplish. I've always avoided "my calling" because it seemed too impossible of an accomplishment. And I thought for sure I was wrong, it just can't be. But as time has gone by, my skills have only improved.
I think I was born with a gift of sight that others don't have. I can see beyond my own wants and needs and desires to see the big picture. I can see how to resolve conflicts. I can hear what others can't. Call me crazy, call me egocentric. But what I say is true. The people in my life become quite annoyed with me because of the things I can see and hear. They accuse me of "acting like I know everything." That's not the issue at all. I DO NOT know everything, but I absorb so much information, I can see a problem or conflict coming a mile before it gets here. As long as I keep my cool of course.... after all, I am only human. I used to think everyone was like this, but I don't think that's true anymore. So, I have learned (or have been trained) to shut up. I keep my visions to myself now. If I see something coming, I just don't mention it. If see a solution, I just keep it to myself.
Maybe this was given to me from the horrendous abuse I suffered? Maybe that was a gift after all? FUCK!!! That really sucks! I can't imagine the hell I went through was for this sight. If I could trade it, I would. Am I here to teach peace? To teach others how to listen? How to see? I just don't know, but it has nagged, and tortured me my entire life. Was this incident that happened a gift so I would get off my ass, stop living the easy life and do what I should be doing? Ok, so if it was..... what the hell am I supposed to do to fulfill it???? What now? People don't really take me seriously with this because I'm just the lowly bus driver with no education. What kind of education do I need to spread the message of peace so people will listen? It can't be religion based, because peace goes beyond all religions, all race's, all gender's, all creeds, all sexual orientations.... beyond all of us.
What do I do with this nagging pain that has never loosened its grip on me since I was a teenager? To the universe, I ask.....
Mar 15, 2012
And another thought
That's bled over from the last one. I think a lot of turmoil we humans experience is because we meet some people who just blow us away. And we know pretty soon that there's something special there, and we just can't let go.
This is where it gets confusing... How are we supposed to share a piece of ourselves with this other person? Do we become lovers? Do we become life mates? Best friends? Collaborators? Should we just get together sometimes and hug or drink coffee or wine or eat candy?
If we pick the wrong one, it can lead to a lot of fucked up emotions.... But how are we to know??????? Can we ever be totally 100% certain we've picked the right path? Hmmmm
This is a thought to build on for sure.......
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
This is where it gets confusing... How are we supposed to share a piece of ourselves with this other person? Do we become lovers? Do we become life mates? Best friends? Collaborators? Should we just get together sometimes and hug or drink coffee or wine or eat candy?
If we pick the wrong one, it can lead to a lot of fucked up emotions.... But how are we to know??????? Can we ever be totally 100% certain we've picked the right path? Hmmmm
This is a thought to build on for sure.......
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Touch
"Today we'll send over 300 billion emails and over 19 billion text messages, yet we'll still feel alone.
The average person will say 2,250 words to 7.4 other individuals. Will these words be used to hurt or to heal? There's an ancient Chinese myth about the writhe about our faith It says that the Gods have tied a red thread around everyone of our ankles and attached it to all the people whose life's we are destined to touch. This thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break."
Ending quote from the television Pilot, 'Touch'.
And now, this inspires a writing frenzy. Good night world, hello to my glorious pen and paper and a mind full of glorious thoughts! Hell, I'll take inspiration where ever I can get it! Passion is a wonderful thing for those who can harness it...
The average person will say 2,250 words to 7.4 other individuals. Will these words be used to hurt or to heal? There's an ancient Chinese myth about the writhe about our faith It says that the Gods have tied a red thread around everyone of our ankles and attached it to all the people whose life's we are destined to touch. This thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break."
Ending quote from the television Pilot, 'Touch'.
And now, this inspires a writing frenzy. Good night world, hello to my glorious pen and paper and a mind full of glorious thoughts! Hell, I'll take inspiration where ever I can get it! Passion is a wonderful thing for those who can harness it...
Mar 14, 2012
YOU WILL NOT DESTROY ME!
I own my life, and finding beauty in the midst of chaos is always a choice!
Don't let the ugly steal your beauty, EVER!
Mar 13, 2012
won't stop now
I feel the writer's block coming..... WILL fight it.... can't, won't, refuse to go there again!!!!! I've been trying to write out my feelings since I came home, and the words just won't come. Will try again every damn day, till something comes to me.... I hope it's about you, but hell.... as long as it's about something, what difference does it fucking make?????
over and out
over and out
Mar 10, 2012
blind-sighted
clouds host to an air of mystery:
Our eyes lock without having seen
the other, feeling souls mingle by
flying on a cloud from here to there.
Beaming like headlights on a
darken road leading to
the middle of nowhere.
Course altered with a blink
of unwavering commitment,
given without discourse because
she loved without seeing.
Our eyes lock without having seen
the other, feeling souls mingle by
flying on a cloud from here to there.
Beaming like headlights on a
darken road leading to
the middle of nowhere.
Course altered with a blink
of unwavering commitment,
given without discourse because
she loved without seeing.
Mar 9, 2012
I can't help myself...
Yea, well. some people make me happy just because they exist.... and they're pretty damn cute too.
I sure hope my mojo is coming back..............
I sure hope my mojo is coming back..............
Mar 8, 2012
In Passing
If you were here, you know
I'd just have to steer you so,
cause since our last passing
I whence cause there's no more racing
to meet you down the road.
But OH! how it made my day
okay, wavin at such a sweet heart.
I know you're smart and you didn't mean
to offer up a friend-ship, just to shit it in a cart
left abandon by the bus station.
Reasons, I hope you reveal cause still
I'm piecin' it together, to figure out
whether or not your words were just brought on
by a feather, to board and fly away.
But I swear, my soul ain't
sordid just sorta twisted.
I'll be at bay and won't say
another word...
I'd just have to steer you so,
cause since our last passing
I whence cause there's no more racing
to meet you down the road.
But OH! how it made my day
okay, wavin at such a sweet heart.
I know you're smart and you didn't mean
to offer up a friend-ship, just to shit it in a cart
left abandon by the bus station.
Reasons, I hope you reveal cause still
I'm piecin' it together, to figure out
whether or not your words were just brought on
by a feather, to board and fly away.
But I swear, my soul ain't
sordid just sorta twisted.
I'll be at bay and won't say
another word...
Waiting......
Unemployed slob.... Why oh why won't somebody return my phone call????????????? I'm not going to be able to afford my next breath soon......
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
on a side note...
I apologize for my harsh words over the last week or so. But, the feelings I'm feeling have just put me in a hurtful, pissed off mood. I've never had a problem with "bad words".... if they're used correctly. I don't have tantrums, I don't throw things, I don't (usually) lash out at others when I'm angry. But, when angered I am more than capable of making sailors blush. Words are my reprieve.... ALL of them.
(For the record... my edit button works quite well, thankfully. I am able to control my language so as not to offend the sensitive and so I don't subject children to my foul mouth)
(For the record... my edit button works quite well, thankfully. I am able to control my language so as not to offend the sensitive and so I don't subject children to my foul mouth)
MENdacity
I am but a woman, in your mind.
Not a thought worth the attention of the next
snake dangler that passes by, unless it's selling sex
for your pleasure, not mine.
I give good brain, asshole!
Don't think I don't hear
the thoughts you think,
evaluating if my pink
is worth a fuck, or not to go near.
My values have legs, not between em!
Worth a fuck? I'm askin too!
You decided I'm an eye sore,
so you don't hold the door.
YOU, ain't worth a fuck dude
cause your brain is at the end of a stick!
I am more like you than me.
But God Damn Man!
Showin some respect CAN
be done if you used your eyes to see,
AND NOT YOUR DICK!
The whole damn thing
makes me sick
you motha fuckin prick!
Put my words in a sling.
I'm done.
Not a thought worth the attention of the next
snake dangler that passes by, unless it's selling sex
for your pleasure, not mine.
I give good brain, asshole!
Don't think I don't hear
the thoughts you think,
evaluating if my pink
is worth a fuck, or not to go near.
My values have legs, not between em!
Worth a fuck? I'm askin too!
You decided I'm an eye sore,
so you don't hold the door.
YOU, ain't worth a fuck dude
cause your brain is at the end of a stick!
I am more like you than me.
But God Damn Man!
Showin some respect CAN
be done if you used your eyes to see,
AND NOT YOUR DICK!
The whole damn thing
makes me sick
you motha fuckin prick!
Put my words in a sling.
I'm done.
Mar 7, 2012
Mar 5, 2012
Did You Notice?
She talks about me in her head and he's just outta his.
I like the fact that you drive me fuckin crazy
but to my friend, I drive you crazy only
cause I took a breath, tomorrow.
Yes to him or her and no, too.... it's nuts, without the benefit of a hard on
that makes it all worth while, sometimes.
This life, it binds without any effort
at all and gives a direct flight to the asylum
but hell, that ain't nothin that a little compassion
couldn't fix HA! if the fix were that easy.
But really, we're all too busy bein
in our own heads and unmakin and remakin our own beds
to be bothered, and that's what bothers me about the
whole damn thing. Say it or don't, wing it or not
but sometimes, it just ain't about you... or me
but just the passion that won't be denied
even if you lied just so we could never be
happy. Gee, I am though
with the thought of it.
If the world could only see it,
I know it wouldn't be criticized a bit.
I feel it, the anger finally internalized cause
this world ain't fit for a love like ours.
But for the record, I ain't a coward
just not forward enough, to shout it beyond
the toughness of this soul.
Can you feel it?
I like the fact that you drive me fuckin crazy
but to my friend, I drive you crazy only
cause I took a breath, tomorrow.
Yes to him or her and no, too.... it's nuts, without the benefit of a hard on
that makes it all worth while, sometimes.
This life, it binds without any effort
at all and gives a direct flight to the asylum
but hell, that ain't nothin that a little compassion
couldn't fix HA! if the fix were that easy.
But really, we're all too busy bein
in our own heads and unmakin and remakin our own beds
to be bothered, and that's what bothers me about the
whole damn thing. Say it or don't, wing it or not
but sometimes, it just ain't about you... or me
but just the passion that won't be denied
even if you lied just so we could never be
happy. Gee, I am though
with the thought of it.
If the world could only see it,
I know it wouldn't be criticized a bit.
I feel it, the anger finally internalized cause
this world ain't fit for a love like ours.
But for the record, I ain't a coward
just not forward enough, to shout it beyond
the toughness of this soul.
Can you feel it?
Mar 4, 2012
Fired Up
Turn your life around!
Like my hat, I said
bad ass backwards, BS!
it ain't as easy as a turnaround
fuck, in a bed of nails
down my back.
The blood stained sheet
don't give no extra clue to the truth,
to those who are stuck
on the same damn page, that's the stuff
that needs to be turned, it's not all muck
it just looks a lot like it.
Covering their own asses, my assets
don't mean a thing. This is my life
you're knife is in.
Don't fight for me, whatever.
Push me off the bottom step, cept you forgot
one damn thing... I might be out the door
but I will haunt chu to the core,
cause you know it was a set up and
I'm only upset cause
you threw me under the fuckin bus!
Like my hat, I said
bad ass backwards, BS!
it ain't as easy as a turnaround
fuck, in a bed of nails
down my back.
The blood stained sheet
don't give no extra clue to the truth,
to those who are stuck
on the same damn page, that's the stuff
that needs to be turned, it's not all muck
it just looks a lot like it.
Covering their own asses, my assets
don't mean a thing. This is my life
you're knife is in.
Don't fight for me, whatever.
Push me off the bottom step, cept you forgot
one damn thing... I might be out the door
but I will haunt chu to the core,
cause you know it was a set up and
I'm only upset cause
you threw me under the fuckin bus!
Mar 3, 2012
tough stuff
filling a pool of tears
pulls the feelings
right outta the soul.
WHO KNEW?
this world is new, to
the one who never shed
a tear, for shit or shat.
how many rips and tears
can one endure
before the door closes
for the last time?
pulls the feelings
right outta the soul.
WHO KNEW?
this world is new, to
the one who never shed
a tear, for shit or shat.
how many rips and tears
can one endure
before the door closes
for the last time?
Mar 1, 2012
not afraid, but maybe i am.... at least a little
so i've heard, half the battle is to be able to ask for help. why is that so fucking hard for me? just don't want to put anyone out.... certainly don't want them to feel anything other than wonderful because of me. but yea, i kinda need it. i've always been the rock to everyone in my life, except my own. don't know how to do that. everybody else has always meant more to me than myself. i'm disposable, so i was always told. i want to fight, hard.... but i just don't know where to begin. taking care of me has never been a top priority for me.... bob dylan said it, "times, they are a changing", i hope i can get a piece of that.... i need a little anger right now, seem to have lost it along the way. now is a good time for my empowering word, the one that pumps me up, always.... FUCK IT!!!
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