What happens when we live in a place that is not ours?
Living in a place without a voice or an affect, or a place to be, okay.
A place where everyone else is right, and you are wrong. A place where, 'a place to belong' is nonexistent; where your thoughts, ideas, and things are considered to be in the way of everyone elses way.
Living in a place of connection that no one else feels.
A place where everyone else is always screaming, "LOVE ME! HEAR ME! I AM IMPORTANT TOO!" And yet... you are just an other, an other whom is unworthy and taking up their place and is never loving, or hearing, or seeing them.
A place where there is always an us and a them, and nothing in between.
A place to cry for loneliness and overwhelmingness, concurrently.
A place where this is the human existence, and yet... no one else has a fucking clue that everyone else feels the same way.
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Mar 8, 2015
Jan 4, 2013
Lies
When the storm comes, she spits and pisses
if one single drop falls upon her delicate flesh
like a Kim Kardashian who believes the hype
of a million lies, simply because her spoon is bigger,
than most.
if one single drop falls upon her delicate flesh
like a Kim Kardashian who believes the hype
of a million lies, simply because her spoon is bigger,
than most.
Aug 16, 2012
Strike
The brilliant lightning
like a thief
stealing the shadows
off the panic
stricken faces taking cover
down below;
for one second too many
Jul 13, 2012
The Hanger
In the dark, little room
where the door is closed
most of the time
to the contents inside;
the hanger waits,
holding up
the shit layed upon it
like a martyr bent on it
with a half smile when
a wrinkle ruins your day.
where the door is closed
most of the time
to the contents inside;
the hanger waits,
holding up
the shit layed upon it
like a martyr bent on it
with a half smile when
a wrinkle ruins your day.
Jul 4, 2012
cut it out
laying back, hands up
surrendering to her wrath
only to save her ass
she ties the weight
on my shoulders
double knotted
i don't fight it
sinking, drowning
deeper and deeper
still, until
i'm out of sight
you have no right
my knife can cut
through the damn knots...
surrendering to her wrath
only to save her ass
she ties the weight
on my shoulders
double knotted
i don't fight it
sinking, drowning
deeper and deeper
still, until
i'm out of sight
you have no right
my knife can cut
through the damn knots...
May 14, 2012
Passed The Past
Friday nights spent painting finger nails
knowing I was only gonna fail
cause you wanted me to climb up;
I was only your schlep
rubbing your feet
always promising me heat
always squishing your bugs
just by flaunting your jugs
you thought you could control all
I did or thought. You did, throwing you the ball
to my life, just cause I wanted you to be happy;
you manipulated me, cause I was just too sappy.
You can control a wild beast
for only so long, when she's at least
the lesser version of you
in everything she will ever do.
But, just so you know
I grew up and no longer crow
at 6 a.m. just cause you want me to.
Still though, I love you
and so very sorry to disrupt your plan
of not coming home again.
knowing I was only gonna fail
cause you wanted me to climb up;
I was only your schlep
rubbing your feet
always promising me heat
always squishing your bugs
just by flaunting your jugs
you thought you could control all
I did or thought. You did, throwing you the ball
to my life, just cause I wanted you to be happy;
you manipulated me, cause I was just too sappy.
You can control a wild beast
for only so long, when she's at least
the lesser version of you
in everything she will ever do.
But, just so you know
I grew up and no longer crow
at 6 a.m. just cause you want me to.
Still though, I love you
and so very sorry to disrupt your plan
of not coming home again.
Apr 15, 2012
sex and stuff
This is not my political blog, but really.... sexual politics just pisses me off. (If you know me personally, you understand why) The birth control issues of this Country are insane to me. People (i.e., old white men with a microphone and a shtick) can call it what they want, but it boils down to.... the general consensus in America is, it's a boy/man's obligation of nature to pursue all women for sex. It is the girl/woman's obligation of nature to reject these pursuits if she is not an adult or (gasp!) not yet married. If this girl/woman gives into the boy/man's pursuits, or God forbid... she is the pursuer, she is a bad girl! and deserves what she gets.
If boys were slapped with a label of condemnation upon losing their virginity, birth control would be put on the shelf way above Viagra and the degradation of women would end at last. The sign of a responsible woman is one who knows she digs sex as much as any man, and she takes the necessary precautions to prevent unwanted diseases and preganancy.
Give me a fucking break people!
If boys were slapped with a label of condemnation upon losing their virginity, birth control would be put on the shelf way above Viagra and the degradation of women would end at last. The sign of a responsible woman is one who knows she digs sex as much as any man, and she takes the necessary precautions to prevent unwanted diseases and preganancy.
Give me a fucking break people!
Mar 8, 2012
MENdacity
I am but a woman, in your mind.
Not a thought worth the attention of the next
snake dangler that passes by, unless it's selling sex
for your pleasure, not mine.
I give good brain, asshole!
Don't think I don't hear
the thoughts you think,
evaluating if my pink
is worth a fuck, or not to go near.
My values have legs, not between em!
Worth a fuck? I'm askin too!
You decided I'm an eye sore,
so you don't hold the door.
YOU, ain't worth a fuck dude
cause your brain is at the end of a stick!
I am more like you than me.
But God Damn Man!
Showin some respect CAN
be done if you used your eyes to see,
AND NOT YOUR DICK!
The whole damn thing
makes me sick
you motha fuckin prick!
Put my words in a sling.
I'm done.
Not a thought worth the attention of the next
snake dangler that passes by, unless it's selling sex
for your pleasure, not mine.
I give good brain, asshole!
Don't think I don't hear
the thoughts you think,
evaluating if my pink
is worth a fuck, or not to go near.
My values have legs, not between em!
Worth a fuck? I'm askin too!
You decided I'm an eye sore,
so you don't hold the door.
YOU, ain't worth a fuck dude
cause your brain is at the end of a stick!
I am more like you than me.
But God Damn Man!
Showin some respect CAN
be done if you used your eyes to see,
AND NOT YOUR DICK!
The whole damn thing
makes me sick
you motha fuckin prick!
Put my words in a sling.
I'm done.
Mar 4, 2012
Fired Up
Turn your life around!
Like my hat, I said
bad ass backwards, BS!
it ain't as easy as a turnaround
fuck, in a bed of nails
down my back.
The blood stained sheet
don't give no extra clue to the truth,
to those who are stuck
on the same damn page, that's the stuff
that needs to be turned, it's not all muck
it just looks a lot like it.
Covering their own asses, my assets
don't mean a thing. This is my life
you're knife is in.
Don't fight for me, whatever.
Push me off the bottom step, cept you forgot
one damn thing... I might be out the door
but I will haunt chu to the core,
cause you know it was a set up and
I'm only upset cause
you threw me under the fuckin bus!
Like my hat, I said
bad ass backwards, BS!
it ain't as easy as a turnaround
fuck, in a bed of nails
down my back.
The blood stained sheet
don't give no extra clue to the truth,
to those who are stuck
on the same damn page, that's the stuff
that needs to be turned, it's not all muck
it just looks a lot like it.
Covering their own asses, my assets
don't mean a thing. This is my life
you're knife is in.
Don't fight for me, whatever.
Push me off the bottom step, cept you forgot
one damn thing... I might be out the door
but I will haunt chu to the core,
cause you know it was a set up and
I'm only upset cause
you threw me under the fuckin bus!
Mar 3, 2012
tough stuff
filling a pool of tears
pulls the feelings
right outta the soul.
WHO KNEW?
this world is new, to
the one who never shed
a tear, for shit or shat.
how many rips and tears
can one endure
before the door closes
for the last time?
pulls the feelings
right outta the soul.
WHO KNEW?
this world is new, to
the one who never shed
a tear, for shit or shat.
how many rips and tears
can one endure
before the door closes
for the last time?
Feb 11, 2012
one fourth
Don't slap a label here cause nothing fits... I am what I fucking am! Get over it. Don't like it? Don't look, simple as that. I'm taking my life back God Damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Feb 8, 2012
Word Up
Words thrown and caught don't follow the rules of sport.
Words, sealed in plastic wrap thaw well, even after decades of freezing... Sometimes more.
Words, tossed into a bucket, rot and perish within a month or two... Sometime less.
Words, once escaping your breath are gifted to others. You have no control how they are stored, how they are used or if they are re-gifted to another.
Words play even if you don't...
Words, sealed in plastic wrap thaw well, even after decades of freezing... Sometimes more.
Words, tossed into a bucket, rot and perish within a month or two... Sometime less.
Words, once escaping your breath are gifted to others. You have no control how they are stored, how they are used or if they are re-gifted to another.
Words play even if you don't...
Oct 8, 2011
The Last Fall
Fightin’ my second cold
in as many weeks.
.... it’s gettin’ old.
Things are lookin’ bleak,
feelin’ numb up and down
.... my spine.
Feeling rather inclined
to leave it all behind.
There's gotta be a way,
.... to stay
when all I wanna do
is get the hell away
....from you.
in as many weeks.
.... it’s gettin’ old.
Things are lookin’ bleak,
feelin’ numb up and down
.... my spine.
Feeling rather inclined
to leave it all behind.
There's gotta be a way,
.... to stay
when all I wanna do
is get the hell away
....from you.
Jan 30, 2011
Blood Stains
Sitting on the bed,
Feet dangling.
Hands over ears
Couldn’t stop the stabbing voices
From behind the door.
His name bounced off
Every wall,
And every once in awhile,
Mine too.
My own blood,
Stains from a moment of
Heated passion.
Door slung open,
Smiles fixed,
Eyes pouring arsenic
Into my soul.
The vinyl slid out of its’ sleeve,
The speakers bumping so loud
My screams went unheard.
The beer cans stacked
On the counter, one by one.
He sang and danced,
gyrating hips, like the ones that were
too sinful to be on tv
like the man he just cursed.
Becoming him
If just for a night.
Picking up my Holly Hobbie
I whispered my fears into her ears.
The secret pocket
Under her rag dress
Held a piece of glass
I found on the step.
That was the first time
I tried to drain the blood
That would dry the
Tears of resentment.
Feet dangling.
Hands over ears
Couldn’t stop the stabbing voices
From behind the door.
His name bounced off
Every wall,
And every once in awhile,
Mine too.
My own blood,
Stains from a moment of
Heated passion.
Door slung open,
Smiles fixed,
Eyes pouring arsenic
Into my soul.
The vinyl slid out of its’ sleeve,
The speakers bumping so loud
My screams went unheard.
The beer cans stacked
On the counter, one by one.
He sang and danced,
gyrating hips, like the ones that were
too sinful to be on tv
like the man he just cursed.
Becoming him
If just for a night.
Picking up my Holly Hobbie
I whispered my fears into her ears.
The secret pocket
Under her rag dress
Held a piece of glass
I found on the step.
That was the first time
I tried to drain the blood
That would dry the
Tears of resentment.
Sep 16, 2008
orderly chaos
secluded, in the
thick of the pasture
the blanket
fixed beneath me
the puff of a
storm, draws the
chill closer
thrusting its’ wrath
deeply inside,
exposed in the blanket
covering what’s
left of me
the storm hits,
quietly
thick of the pasture
the blanket
fixed beneath me
the puff of a
storm, draws the
chill closer
thrusting its’ wrath
deeply inside,
exposed in the blanket
covering what’s
left of me
the storm hits,
quietly
Hellcat
Ready for combat
Slingin’ your words
For me to swallow
Like slick pie.
Sorry, but
I ain’t your fall guy,
Don’t bring it to me
Cause you see
The point of a spat
Is not to skew
Me to you
But allow me to be
Despite the blat!
Slingin’ your words
For me to swallow
Like slick pie.
Sorry, but
I ain’t your fall guy,
Don’t bring it to me
Cause you see
The point of a spat
Is not to skew
Me to you
But allow me to be
Despite the blat!
Just Like Before
Washing dishes
Folding laundry
Watching her
on t.v.makes it tolerable.
The phone jolts me
out of my grind.
8:50
Sunday night,
can’t be the man
with a
hand in my pocket.
Hello!
Hi?
the voice from the past
echoes again
and again.
Fuck!
is the thought
hello?
is what escapes.
She creeps,
slithers, weaving
in and out.
She says it is
and so it has become,
in her mind.
BUT!
This time
my wallet stays put
her lies
I don’t buy….
until!
off button clicked.
Somehow, even now
it sticks
just like before.
pacing
hair stroking
smoking
drinking
swearing
repeat
repeat
repeat
repeat
Damn it!
somebody hide my wallet!
Folding laundry
Watching her
on t.v.makes it tolerable.
The phone jolts me
out of my grind.
8:50
Sunday night,
can’t be the man
with a
hand in my pocket.
Hello!
Hi?
the voice from the past
echoes again
and again.
Fuck!
is the thought
hello?
is what escapes.
She creeps,
slithers, weaving
in and out.
She says it is
and so it has become,
in her mind.
BUT!
This time
my wallet stays put
her lies
I don’t buy….
until!
off button clicked.
Somehow, even now
it sticks
just like before.
pacing
hair stroking
smoking
drinking
swearing
repeat
repeat
repeat
repeat
Damn it!
somebody hide my wallet!
Thinking about it
Splattering the shit
out there
faster than I can think it.
Not worth much more
though,
than the pennies
that jiggle in my pocket.
Hell,
I’ll tell you
right to your face
rather than make you stew
it’s only
mediocre!
Why?
Cause it won’t
make a Fucking
difference
in the way
you see me!
out there
faster than I can think it.
Not worth much more
though,
than the pennies
that jiggle in my pocket.
Hell,
I’ll tell you
right to your face
rather than make you stew
it’s only
mediocre!
Why?
Cause it won’t
make a Fucking
difference
in the way
you see me!
My Mission
In the fever of wrath
words are viperous.
When the cold of night commences
thoughts chisel at the pith of my very essence.
This blood that boils thru my veins
is from the daily strains of my existence.
The hell you put me through
is my diurnal prison.
But it has sent me on a mission
to escape the reins of you.
words are viperous.
When the cold of night commences
thoughts chisel at the pith of my very essence.
This blood that boils thru my veins
is from the daily strains of my existence.
The hell you put me through
is my diurnal prison.
But it has sent me on a mission
to escape the reins of you.
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