The Hatchback Honda Cowboy

He's quite average, under normal
circumstances. No blonde bomb
would give him a third look. But!
When he's The Hatchback Honda cowboy, he is rather special, indeed.
Even this eye could not turn away
from the wonderful sight I saw standing
next to pump number 3 at the Citgo on Church Street, no less.
He was tall with grace, and the face of a baby.
The tight Wranglers made
for an exceptional, ahem... rear seat!
Tucked beneath the black pant leg
were a pair of the best Justin boots
$299 can buy! With the silk red shirt
and the magnificent Stetson, rolled
most perfectly at the sides atop of
his head, it is quite frankly, enough to make any dyke sigh,
Va-Va-Voom!!! (and she did)
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weathered

the heavy dew laid
a blanket of
shivering chills.
the tree's tears
melting, dry like desert sand.
the grass, scarred but
spring is coming, i heard.
there's a still, breathless air
with a stiff upper lip and
the rhythm, chained to an
abandon phone booth.
interestingly enough, it goes
pretty much unnoticed by the passerby's.
the mornings first light, invigorating
and yet, blinding.
i think i'll rest a bit beneath this cloud.
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Roadability

Bag packed, Lead-foot dropped
Punch it till I hit it
Good?
Ditch that prick
I got a new trick, better
than that dick, mighty fine
Like you.
Read my sign
Like home not sick
The road, my friend
ride you will, pullin
no stops, once you get the thrill.
Don't fight it, you know it's right
in the clit, yea I said it
Hold on, here I come,
Fuck it!




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G-listening

I heard right, I'm sure
I probably did, a party of one
where only my ears play.
Solo can be mighty fine, you
know what I mean...? no complaints!
But to listen, OH LISTENING!
a party of the senses.
To listen, the mingling of
yours and mine
is intensely erotic.
coming and going, back and forth,
to and fro, in and out,
aAaHhHhhhH... cigarette please.

I'm listening, with all of me.
talk to me...

PS: Yes, I have Dumbo ears. Thanks Dad. NOT! ugh.
I never allow anyone to see my ears. Stepping out of my comfort zone here....

A Kairotic Moment

Tore, Chore

There are many chores
I just gotta do, some a bore
And a few, I ain't ever gonna adore.
Like sweepin the damn floor!
Where in the hell does all that dirt come from,
anyway? The one that rips me at the core
comin at me four times or more
a day, is feelin this heart of tore,
chore. Torn deep inside for
that gurl who slammed the fuckin door
right in my damn face... missin her like hell
I'm mopin like Eeyore hopin she'll come around.

There's one thing I know for sure,
this ain't no 6 day war!
I got 50 to life, babe.

Sushma

Her every word, expelled
with purpose. Tight, in her frame
petite feet, like guided missiles,
only she holds the code,
this way or that, no matter
of importance. Contentment lies
knowingly, any man will build
her, the grandest of castles in
a sky of lightning, if she
desired such nonsense.



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Irony

A peculiar thing about onions
upon picking it apart
the stench of its complexity
will linger on the finger
making certain, its existence
will not be forgotten.
A peculiar thing about flowers
pedals its way into the heart,
upon picking it at
the peak of its beauty, in turn
withers and dies
leaving no memory it
ever existed.




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layin this out

This is how it's goin down.
put your ear close, don't want you to miss
any part of this, prophecy
my wild lady heart. When time
signals us with the day's last flower
in this time we know as now,
there will be no you,
no me, no light...
Beyond this earth, beyond this shadowy darkness
this splendor of us will be alive
beyond this breath of a whisper
from these here lips
to your soul, finally
rollin with mine.
Dig it?

G is for Gambler

Sweet Dreams

a little blood on my pillow
doesn't creep my sleep
oddly enough, it becomes
even more alluring,
making sleep an addiction
because then I know, with complete certainty
"Yes! I am in deed not dead,
yet."
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Piece Out!

Many have told me, it's so
ez to understand,
The body is water, mostly.
Good for mixing this and that.
Add or subtract, whatever works, or doesn't.
This wasn't the plan, it just changed
as it always seems to do.
Share's, B's, Hunter's, G's... the toughies, you know.
NOT PLAYIN, never did.
don't play in Marcy's Playground either,
too hardcore. Who wants to wipe up that shit?
An exorcism, seriously? HA!
The stakes are higher than ever
Facial hair fits sometimes.
Glasses or not, hides the rainbow,
an itch or a scratch
can be beyond significant.
Always, attention to detail
luckily, no one pays a cent.
The game of life is grand,
The eyes have it.

here today, gone tomorrow
:-)~~~~~~~~~~~ PFFFTTTT------- (tling)
BULL'S EYE!

Velcro

Have you ever noticed the sound of Velcro?  Not something we usually pay attention to.  Like life though, when it comes together, it barely even makes a sound.  It's ever so faint, almost unnoticeable... subtle unless you're paying attention. 

But when it's ripped in two, that sound... grates, it's deafening, earth shattering, forcing everyone to take notice, it won't be ignored.  The sound effect of life's tragedies and that of a soul torn.

----------------------------

I'm going to force myself to write all day, as I forced myself out of bed this morning.  If I put the pen down for even a second, I know it will all stop.... and it's too much a part of me now to allow that to happen again.

g'day.

Fluid

My cup, it wears a mask
of blue skies and flowers
Inside and out.
No matter what's poured within,
its beauty remains.
You, him, her, she and I,
we can pour all day long,
it never holds more than it should.
The magical part of the cup is, the shit and the
sludge and the poison sinks to the bottom
never to be heard from again.
At the top, that's the good stuff
The nectar, nourishing
all who dare to sip.
I keep it flowing...


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Derailed

Subways, like life comes
and goes.
People get on, get off
some in pairs, some alone.
Some ride every day, while some
find it a bit scary and vulnerable.
Jump. Leap. Retreat.
All with advantages.
All with disappointments.
Everyday, I rode the one deemed the safest. Day after damn day.
Meticulous. Asleep. Waiting.
One day, BAM!  A stranger whose soul
mightily,
reached right through
my chest, stopping
the hearts desire to beat
just by ignoring my sheer
existence restarting it again with
a dream and the vision of her.
Getting off the train, waiting, looking
unable to find the train she lept to...
certain, her train and mine are going the same direction.
But, how the hell could I know,
with any kind of certainty,
the ticket, ripped from my pocket
before she left.

The Poetry Game

Yes that looks like no, or no is yes,
I don't know.
Love making love to indifference...
Indiscernible at best,
But really, the eclipsed sentiment
is fully exposed with direct light
and a map. Is all this necessary
or can one really survive the
risk of a broken heart?
I'm writing this crappy poetry in my sleep
That's code for something, I'm sure,
OBSESSED?!?!?!
More than likely, the heart will be severed, but with any kind of luck
the carver will offer up
a needle and thread.

Anesthesia would be nice.


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A minute on Valentines Day

Take a minute. Look at it. Feel it. Count your heartbeats. Notice your breath. Is it deep? Shallow? Heavy? Did something happen the last minute that might've affected any of those? Clear your thoughts, Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes... What image, thought or feeling came to you? Sit with that for a minute because whatever it was probably could use your full attention right now.

Why do I bring this up now? Because I've been spending a massive amount of time thinking about life and death and love. Isn't it strange that the most profound and life altering events happen in a minute of time?
One minute. Birth, death, falling in love, destruction of Countries, civilizations or communities. An enchanting encounter with a stranger that stays with you forever. With all of these... One minute can make a world of difference.

Imagine what could happen if we all take one minute out of every hour to do something life altering for ourselves and for others. That's 24 minutes a day to change everything....

Think a pleasant thought, smile at a stranger, hold the door, let someone ahead of you, share a happy thought... I could go on and on, but you get the point, right?

I'm going to take this minute to say thank you for finding me, and for making all of my minutes spent thinking about you... And that makes me smile!
Minute by minute......






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Stormy

Showered, dressed, and braced... Why do these kinda things have to be so hard????





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Shrew-d

Push, Pull
Push, Pull
Push, Pull

Such a fool
I am, so...

It would Appear.

Push, Pull
Push, Pull
Push, Pull
Push, Pull

Such a tool
too, apparently...

But hey! Who's gonna complain about a screwdriver?

Push, Pull
Push, Pull
Push, Pull
Push, Pull
Push, Pull

Pull the wool
over and over and over,
So you thought....

I'm no dummy.


Push, Pull
Push, Pull
Push, Pull
Push, Pull
Push, Pull
Push, Pull

I turn to
Mush, and Drool
always over you...

Don't worry about me, I'm cool...

Soul Infused Climb Axes

A moment passes, not sure why or if you should've caught it, or why it even came when it did.  We can live entire lifetimes, never understanding the true meaning of a touch, a glance or a smile.  Sometimes, we make our way to a moment that we didn't know we even wanted, until it arrived.  The mystery of life, sometimes it makes me want to blow my fucking brains out, but most times... it just leaves me breathless.   Earth shattering moments that make it impossible to keep the room from spinning or hairs from standing on end.  Why????  Not sure what what is what, and why now.   Day to day, asleep in my own life... Until.  Now, wide awake and caught between yesterday and tomorrow with no known transportation that travels from here to there.  That's the fucking luck of the draw, ain't it?  Exploration jilted by locks and lost keys and dark rooms and.... sigh ........ lost moments.

Did I blow it or is it waiting for the next moment?  Or, maybe still.... this is the moment.  The beginning, The middle, and The ending all at the same time.  That sucks and blows awesome at the same damn time. What I do know, these are the moments that are worth getting out of bed for everyday.  It's a matter of perspective.  Hell, I could easily fall into the abyss and just lay out cause it didn't go this way or that.  I'm putting that option on hold, for now.  Right now, I'm just going to feel your soul penetrating mine, climbing to the highest peak... and riding the rush till its spent!

[insert rising, feel good music here]

Iceberg

The lines are blurring
weaving in and out, must find stillness
My own concerns, off the shelf.
Kisses that can't wait, smiles like a dam to a flood.

If I dare, I will sink
anchor, stowed.

Standing, walking here and there
climbing walls
breath and pulse, like a two door Ford Grand Torino
on the streets of San Francisco.

If I care, I will sink
anchor, stowed.

Weird thing too, haven't seen you
in a hundred years.  I can still feel
your breath in the crook of my neck
beckoning, like that night.

It ain't fair, I will sink
anchor, stowed.

You're not feeding me, but I can taste it
I swear, like a black tie dinner.
Sinking doesn't matter,
anymore. I'm hooked.

one fourth

Don't slap a label here cause nothing fits... I am what I fucking am! Get over it. Don't like it? Don't look, simple as that. I'm taking my life back God Damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BE ART THOU SELF...

Green of hearts

Money destroys lives, so I hear.
It has mine, reasons considered certifiable
in a world blinded by greed.
I want the key that unlocks the shackles chained by money
cause... well... it took you away from me,
and I from you.

A one room apartment overlooking spectacular-ness
with a shelf for books, a table and chair
for penning my thoughts, and of course
a bed for love
making, is in my heart of hearts.
A lack of money does not make a lack of life.

Money is the accomplice to more crime
than all of the Gambino's put together,
deserving of a trial for manslaughter? rape? thievery?
HA! That's certifiable talk again.
Not gonna mention it anymore
cause 99.9% of us have blood on our hands.
BLAH!

The Sting

My dream from last night:

A bee, one of those big carpenter ones was constantly buzzing me every time I stepped one foot outside. Round and round day after day, right up in my face, swirling around my head penetrating my thoughts. It was a fucking pesk is what it was. So, I came up with the brilliant idea of ignoring it to see if it would go away on its own. And you know what??? It did.

Me,the person who never cries, (well, almost never) actually shed a tear over that damn bee... I missed the damn thing!!!!! WTF!?!?!

[me laying back in analytical chair]
"Alright Doc, fire away at that load of crap!"

Word Up

Words thrown and caught don't follow the rules of sport.
Words, sealed in plastic wrap thaw well, even after decades of freezing... Sometimes more.
Words, tossed into a bucket, rot and perish within a month or two... Sometime less.
Words, once escaping your breath are gifted to others. You have no control how they are stored, how they are used or if they are re-gifted to another.
Words play even if you don't...

Night Sweats

Liquid number, digested every damn night.
At second yawn, sometimes 10
I crawl into bed
pulling covers over my head
hoping beyond dreams the sleuth is left outside.
Toes point westwardly, ready
to run at moments notice
where the winds dictate.
I hear the trees blowing off
in the distance, swirling
twister like
Approaching Pulling Approaching Pulling Approaching Pulling...
from every direction,
Dictation ain't such a bad thing, in the middle of a storm.
Every morning I rise, unkemptly
going no direction at all. The nightly storms melting in the rising sun.

HBD Mr. Dickens

"A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other."

But boy, it sure would be nice if some of the mystery could be dispelled, and you'd talk to me.....  I don't know what to make of anything.

I Can't Stop

For daze now...

Redwood

I wrote this is 1995, but it seems to have found its way back into my consciousness.  I didn't get the full effect of why it came to me back then.... but I see it a little more clearly now.  But now, I'm left with: "What the hell to do about it????"

Semantics

There's cream and then there's cream.  Dairy cream, half and half, whipped, soft peaks, stiff peaks... Kinda erotic, ain't it?  Now gettin creamed... Hell, that happens every damn day of my life.  I'm so sick of it.
But, the kinda cream I wanna talk about today is,  "I'd really like to make you cream..."  HA! If you need to reach me, I'll be at 123 Gutter lane for the rest of the day.

The English language is my play thing, and I have way too much time on my hands. I never keep it in the lines...

The Corner

The End

The days are brief
The sky is blinding
Here, hear without notice.
The nights are long
The dark is blinding
Here, hear the silence scream.
Here, hear the whispers, of
Thoughts never shared
Dreams never met
Here, heard in the blinding silence
If only, we noticed.

Just Thinking....

That the simple lack of her rocks me more than some others presence.... 



quite strange, indeed.

If only...

Babs visited me in my dreams for the second time in as many weeks last night. It's not her younger, exotic self but her just as beautiful present day self.

We talk and laugh and really get to know each other. The great part is, she's free around me. She's totally and completely comfortable in her own skin that she doesn't concern herself with whether or not I'm aroused or repulsed by her. She undresses freely in front of me, she climbs into bed with me, rubbing her breast all over me, but yet it's not the least bit sexual.

Aside from spending time with Barbra Streisand, and enjoying her beauty in all its glory, what I enjoyed most about the dream was her trust in me to handle my own emotions. Whatever I felt or didn't feel was ok with her. If I wanted to enjoy her nakedness, that was ok and it was beyond ok. We were just there, together without judgement, taking what we needed from each other, and giving what we could. That, in my mind is perfection!

Unfortunately, the damn alarm clock came between us. But it has been nice carrying her close to my heart and in my thoughts all morning!

Detours and Stuff

Twenty five years ago, I had my life planned out... Or so I thought. The first order was to graduate high school. Then, pack up my 1983 baby blue Ford Escort, 4 gears and no air but she was my freedom from my hellish life! I loved her so much, I still remember her license plate number, BYH-8487. She was my baby! Anyway, I was gonna pack her up and just go. No plans of stopping until I was good and ready.

I never did take that trip. Not sure what stopped me. I didn't fall in love, but I certainly fell in love with the idea of falling in love. I did eventually fall in love, I guess I still am. But damn! Love is complicated and hurts way to much. I'll never understand why people you love will fight so dirty. I protect those I love and care about at all cost, even from my own anger. I guess I'm the exception and not the rule. Just thinking about those most hateful words that were spit out 2 years ago, 7 years ago, 9, 10, 15, 20.. 5 days ago... still sting more than that jaw breaking slap when I was a kid. Love bites!

So, nothing good can last forever. I've always known that but just didn't want to believe it. That DAMN hope!!! That's why I was gonna get in that car and just fly, never looking back...

Twenty five years. That's a long time, but not too late for a detour. And besides, I'm a helluva lot smarter now than when I was 18. Just the thought of being free excites me more than the thought of her. So many places to go, and they all have my name on them. No attachments, no strings, no one to answer to.

Hell ya baby!!!!